


the feeling | poems and prose for lee know

by jklminho



Category: Stay - Fandom, Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 21:40:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28552500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jklminho/pseuds/jklminho
Summary: yes i love you, i love you to whatever's further than the moon and back. do you love me too?-have you ever had someone that you thought, "he's definitely the one for me",but then all of a sudden, unable to control your own feet and hands, you just started running to someone else?then you thought, "ahh this has to be fate, but what does that make me now?" and then you feel the sudden fear."if fate led me here, he wouldn't break my heart would he? he has to be the one, right?"then i invite you to read this book together. even if the story's different, i hope i reached deep down your heart as you feel how i felt and how it turned out in the end, if there was an end.
Relationships: Lee Minho | Lee Know/Original Male Character(s), Lee Minho | Lee Know/Reader
Kudos: 1





	1. the first time i realized

**_Close your eyes and think about that boy. Tell me how he makes you feel._ **

He was different. Somehow, he managed to grab my attention away with no reason.

I was there, my fingers locked with whom I’d call my past lover. And then I caught someone at the side, his laughter I could hear from metres away. I still remember how he looked that day. The man whose hand I had intertwined with mine was talking to me, telling me more about himself but I couldn’t keep my focus on him. My eyes stayed glued on that mysterious man who I was walking past by. And he turned. He faced me. With the smile he showed through his eyes, I could tell he was genuinely happy while talking to his group of friends.

And then our eyes met – and that was when I saw the most beautiful pair of eyes that was as clear as the galaxy in the sky, so much mystery and secrets inside as he stared deep into mine. I didn’t know what to do so I looked away. _“No..,”_ I tried telling myself. How could I? I already have a special someone. He is the right one. He has to be the right one. If not, there is no way god would play with what I call feelings and paired me with someone who wasn’t compatible. Who I won’t have a future with? God is better than that. But I hated myself at this moment as I got momentarily distracted by a stranger.

A stranger I wanted to know more about. A stranger that got me curious to find out more about him. But what is this all for? This feeling? I’m never going to see him again. He could be married; he could be in a relationship. He could be as precious to someone else just like how I thought about how precious he would probably be. I want to know more about this man. I needed to. If not, I know I’ll regret it with all my heart. I can’t miss the only chance.

_“I need to go to the toilet,”_ I told my past lover, letting go of his hand that was holding oh so dearly tight to mine. **_I’m sorry, I’m horrible, I’m evil._** I couldn’t stop my feet as it took a step closer to the stranger. No- actually, I didn’t want to stop myself to continue approaching the stranger.

_“Hello”._

His eyes met mine once again, this time I could tell he was wondering what I was doing. And then he continued giving me a mysterious smile that got me wondering what he was doing. He turned his body to face mine, his eyes locked on mine.

_“Hello,”_ he replied.

And what’s next? I didn’t know what else to say. It was as if someone or something was taking control of my body and pulled me here, in front of him. Somehow, I didn’t care if my past lover saw.

_Maybe it’s for the better that he sees it…_ at least I don’t have to try to sugar coat my words and hurt him even more.

And maybe perhaps I made it too obvious that I was afraid, that I did not think this true. Without being able to utter another word, the stranger in front of me gave me another smile. Somehow, I feel comforted by it. It was as if he was trying to tell me that it was okay. Maybe he caught on, maybe he saw how I let go of my past lover’s hand and walked over to him, _maybe he saw everything._ Now I’m being tugged, one of my hand grabbed by the stranger, and suddenly, I’m running. _Was I running away or was I just running? Where was he going to take me to? Am I doing the right thing?_


	2. you were the answer

**_How much love is a person capable of giving? I thought I knew the answer until I met you._ **

****

“what do we do now?” his voice woke my mind up. Here I was in the middle of an empty, narrow street and even more, with a stranger.

“I don’t know… I don’t know what I just did…” I told him and I let go of his hand.

“You let him go, I saw you let his hand go,” he continued.

“I know… I shouldn’t have. I- I.. I’m sorry,” I said as I turned my back on him and ran off.

He didn’t run after me. Perhaps he too knew this wasn’t right. Perhaps he too knew that I was wrong. As I ran away, I looked back at that moment and I knew. I knew that I fell in love with you. I ran far away and knelt to the ground. Out of breath I gasped, I cried and cried and cried. _I messed this up. I mess everything up._

How was I going to go back to my past lover if he finds me? Do I pretend I was too busy for him when my phone lights up every day and night with his calls and messages? I didn’t know what to do but one thing I know for sure, the feeling I felt for him the past year had left my body and soul and I know for sure too, that I am never getting it back.

I could imagine and I could feel my heart that was once filled with your voice, your promises, your laugh, your life and your love is slowly being filled with the echo of your anger and the deafening silence you are going to give me that I knew I deserved. So I fall to my knees and I crumble in the corner where I once dreamt you’d hold me. And I choke on the dust of the butterflies that fell from my stomach for you and the tears that hailed from my eyes for you. You were my home for so long and now I realize that humans cannot be homes. If homes can leave, then they are not a home. Homes stay, but now you’re already out of my heart, out of my home.

And so the night passes through just like that, and now a new morning came. The emptiness and silence at home was sickening and unbearable with memories of you and me on the bed, in the kitchen, in the toilet, in the living room and every in of this house fresh and clear in my head. _I need to get out of here. I need to find my own comfort for now there is no one to comfort me anymore._

I got ready and went out, breathing some fresh air as I try to get you out of my mind. And oh the temporary bliss the mysterious man gave me when he held my hand, when he ran away with me in front of my past lover. I could never forget it. How his hand felt on mine, it felt like that was how it was supposed to be.

_“Sorry,…”_ I apologized as I bumped onto a stranger on the street while I got distracted with my thoughts. _“I know you from yesterday, fancy meeting you again here”._

Without even a second to spare, I raised my head up, my eyes meeting his, the one from yesterday, the one I couldn’t get out of my mind for the entire night. _“It’s really you”._

And he gave me the same comforting smile again. Without uttering another word, I could feel the slight tug on my hand and all of a sudden, I’m running. I’m running with him again. I had no clue to where he was taking me, and I have absolutely no clue to what he is going to do with me but in the moment, all I knew was that I needed to be with him. I needed him. I want him. And so I thought to myself,

_“How much love is a person capable of giving?”_

_I thought I knew the answer until I met you._

_You were the answer._


End file.
